Vanessa Vaughan Counselling

Vanesssa Vaughan

5 May 2025 | 5 min read |  

Are you struggling with self-doubt, insecurity, or a harsh inner critic? You’re not alone. Many people experience low self-esteem, and it can have a significant impact on different aspects of our lives—from relationships to work to overall emotional well-being.

This post explores what self-esteem is, the causes and signs of low self-esteem, practical tips to support your self-worth, and how low self-esteem counselling in Farnham can help you build a more confident and compassionate sense of self.

What Is Self-Esteem?

Self-esteem refers to the way we value and perceive ourselves. It shapes how we feel about who we are, our decisions, and our ability to face life’s challenges. As Psychology Today explains, self-esteem is a key component of our emotional well-being and influences nearly every part of our lives.

When we have healthy self-esteem, we are more able to:

• Feel confident in who we are
• Recognise our strengths
• Set healthy boundaries
• Be kind to ourselves
• Embrace challenges without fear of failure
• Believe that we are deserving of happiness

Self-esteem is not about arrogance or ego—it’s about developing a secure and compassionate relationship with yourself.

What Is Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem occurs when we place little value on ourselves. You may feel undeserving, overly self-critical, or unsure of your worth. These feelings often lead to patterns like:

• People-pleasing or avoiding conflict
• Fear of failure or rejection
• Perfectionism or indecision
• Feeling “not good enough,” no matter what you do

When left unaddressed, low self-esteem can affect your mental health, relationships, and personal growth.

What Causes Low Self-Esteem?

Low self-esteem often stems from experiences that shaped how we see ourselves—especially during childhood or adolescence. Common causes include:

• Critical or neglectful parenting
• Bullying or social exclusion
• Abuse or trauma
• Unrealistic expectations from society or media
• Internalising negative messages from others

These early experiences can lead to deeply held beliefs like “I’m not worthy” or “I don’t matter”—beliefs that low self-esteem counselling in Farnham can help you explore and gently challenge.

How to Build and Support Healthy Self-Esteem

Alongside counselling, there are some steps you can take to nurture self-esteem:

1. Practise Self-Compassion
   Treat yourself as you would a close friend—with kindness, patience, and understanding.
2. Challenge Negative Thoughts
   Recognise your inner critic and replace harsh thoughts with realistic, compassionate ones.
3. Set Clear Boundaries
   Saying “no” and expressing your needs is not selfish—it’s a sign of self-respect.
4. Focus on Your Strengths
   Remind yourself of your skills, values, and unique qualities. Remind yourself of your worth beyond external validation.
5. Prioritise Self-Care
   Nurture your mental, physical, and emotional well-being through activities that feel restorative.
6. Reach Out for Support
   Surround yourself with people who uplift and value you. Or consider working with a professional therapist.

Low Self-Esteem Counselling in Farnham: How It Helps

If you’re in Farnham or looking for online therapy, counselling for low self-esteem can help you to build a more compassionate relationship with yourself.

Through integrative counselling, I aim to create a safe, supportive space to:

• Understand the root causes of your low self-esteem
• Work through painful past experiences with care
• Reconnect with your authentic self, free from societal pressure
• Develop healthier self-talk, boundaries, and self-acceptance

This process can help you rebuild a more stable, grounded sense of self-worth—and move forward with greater clarity and confidence.

Ready to Begin Counselling for Low Self-Esteem in Farnham?

Self-esteem isn’t something you’re born with or without—it’s something you can build. Whether you’re dealing with past trauma, a harsh inner critic, or a lifelong pattern of people-pleasing, you don’t have to face it alone.

If you’re seeking low self-esteem counselling in Farnham or online, I offer a free 30-minute telephone consultation to talk about how we might work together. Please get in touch via email or through my contact form, and take the first step toward a more empowered, self-compassionate life.